It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
