I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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