adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
