We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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