so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
