At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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