and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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