why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
