Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
