I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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