so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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