i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I could make wine with my vomit
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
