HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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