GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
