I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize