oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
