chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
