med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
