margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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