he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
