I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize