It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
