she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
