absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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