i just google imaged poop.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
