See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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