hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
