Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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