He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
