I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
