As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
