Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
