She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
