i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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