R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
