Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
