I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
