Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i already hear my dad disowning me
nutella sex= disaster
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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