You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize