You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
