the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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