whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think people are normalizing furries
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
