I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Panties = found
Randomize