i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
