O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
