Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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