They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
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Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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