I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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