Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
