Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
