i jhust puked up my retainher.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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