I should be sponsored by Trojan
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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