Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
