Me. At least after what I've been through.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I am naked and annoyed.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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