a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
