p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
