the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
