ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
