Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
