But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
