the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
