I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
