none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
