she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
