I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
