my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
