I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
