This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
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The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
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Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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