4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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